Hellotxt

Never call a man a fool. Borrow from him.

The trouble with money is it costs too much!

The idea there was that consumers would bring their broken electronic devices, such as television sets and VCR's, to the destruction centers, where trained personnel would whack them (the devices) with sledgehammers. With their devices thus permanently destroyed, consumers would then be free to go out and buy new devices, rather than have to fritter away years of their lives trying to have the old ones repaired at so-called "factory service centers," which in fact consist of two men named Lester poking at the insides of broken electronic devices with cheap cigars and going, "Lookit all them WIRES in there!" -- Dave Barry, "'Mister Mediocre' Restaurants"

Nothing is more admirable than the fortitude with which millionaires tolerate the disadvantages of their wealth. -- Nero Wolfe

The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all your time.

A boss with no humor is like a job that's no fun.

XXXI: The optimum committee has no members. XXXII: Hiring consultants to conduct studies can be an excellent means of turning problems into gold -- your problems into their gold. XXXIII: Fools rush in where incumbents fear to tread. XXXIV: The process of competitively selecting contractors to perform work is based on a system of rewards and penalties, all distributed randomly. XXXV: The weaker the data available upon which to base one's conclusion, the greater the precision which should be quoted in order to give the data authenticity. -- Norman Augustine

My idea of roughing it is when room service is late.

"How many people work here?" "Oh, about half."

Keep up the good work! But please don't ask me to help.

In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence ... in time every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its duties ... Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence. -- Dr. Laurence J. Peter, "The Peter Principle"

I just need enough to tide me over until I need more. -- Bill Hoest

A Medicare Reform Model Everyone Can Love (Guest Opinion) http://bit.ly/CSh6D

Medicaid's Moment (Guest Opinion) http://bit.ly/CSh6D

It's Not Just The Money: Cost Control In Cancer Care (Guest Opinion) http://bit.ly/CSh6D

As The CLASS Act Comes Under Fire, The British Propose A New Model for National Long-Term Care Insurance (Guest Opinion) http://bit.ly/CSh6D

Washington's Rebate Tax Would Be Paid By Seniors (Guest Column) http://bit.ly/CSh6D

The Questionable Lure Of Free Long-Term Care Placement Services (Guest Opinion) http://bit.ly/CSh6D

Why IPAB Is Essential -- A Timely Review (Guest Opinion) http://bit.ly/CSh6D

Different Takes: What's Next For Medicare Cost Controls? Vladeck And Wilensky Offer Their Views http://bit.ly/CSh6D

An Unreasonable Expectation… http://bit.ly/CSh6D

Proposals To Forbid First-Dollar Coverage For Medicare Beneficiaries http://bit.ly/CSh6D

Viewpoints: Politics Of The Medicare Debate; Measuring The Impact Of Catholic Bishops' Legal Challenge http://bit.ly/Oi2rN

Longer Looks: When Is A Life Too Long?; The Rising Cost Of Children's Health Care http://bit.ly/Oi2rN

State Roundup: HHS Announces Community Health Center Grants; Blue Shield Of Calif. CEO To Retire http://bit.ly/Oi2rN

State Lawmakers Wrestle With Planned Parenthood Funding, Contraception Coverage http://bit.ly/Oi2rN

Union Reaches Contract Agreement With Minn. Hospitals http://bit.ly/Oi2rN

Doctors Disagree On New Prostate Cancer Screening Guidelines http://bit.ly/Oi2rN

U.S. Military Says Too Many Enlistees Are Overweight; Americans Find Doing Taxes Easier Than Eating Right http://bit.ly/Oi2rN

IUDs, Implants Far More Effective At Preventing Pregnancy Than The Pill http://bit.ly/Oi2rN

In Changing Marketplace, Hospitals And Insurers Are Moving To Control Costs http://bit.ly/Oi2rN

Study Says Most Insurance Sold To Individuals Doesn't Meet Health Law Standards http://bit.ly/Oi2rN

New Ad Touts Obama's Commitment To Medicare http://bit.ly/Oi2rN

Reid Says He Will Let Budget Cuts Go Forward Unless There Is A Concession On Revenue http://bit.ly/Oi2rN

Senate Inches Closer To Passage Of FDA Reauthorization Bill http://bit.ly/Oi2rN

Dashboards now available for our clients! http://bit.ly/lo4Yx #dashboard #bi

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Starting a new practice? We can help you! http://bit.ly/nwaRP #practice #business #startups

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How do you apply a marketing strategy to caring for sick people? http://bit.ly/qIBnUc #marketing

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Healthcare organizations don't need to fully outsource their billing to realize outsourced benefits. http://bit.ly/lo4Yx #outsource

Expertise is required to untangle in-house AR "bird nests". http://bit.ly/lo4Yx #ar #management

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A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. ~August Bier

Everyone who is born holds dual citizenship, in the kingdom of the well and in the kingdom of the sick. Although we all prefer to use only the good passport, sooner or later each of us is obliged, at least for a spell, to identify ourselves as citizens of that other place. ~Susan Sontag, Illness as Metaphor, 1977

I learned a long time ago that minor surgery is when they do the operation on someone else, not you. ~Bill Walton

One doctor makes work for another. ~English Proverb

You should pray for a healthy mnd in a healthy body.~Juvenal

In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. ~Cicero

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. ~Elbert Hubbard

Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. ~William Shakespeare

Fresh air impoverishes the doctor ~Danish Proverb

An apple a day keeps the doctor away ~Benjamin Franklin

Unless the doctor of today becomes the dietitian of tomorrow, the dietitian of today will become the doctor of tomorrow. ~Dr. ALEXIS CARROL

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Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. ~Martin H. Fischer

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I met my latest girl friend in a department store. She was looking at clothes, and I was putting Slinkys on the escalators. -- Steven Wright

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" -- Steven Wright

Twenty Percent of Zero is Better than Nothing. -- Walt Kelly

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans. -- Woody Allen

I met my latest girl friend in a department store. She was looking at clothes, and I was putting Slinkys on the escalators. -- Steven Wright

Decorate your home. It gives the illusion that your life is more interesting than it really is. -- C. Schulz

If you throw a New Year's Party, the worst thing that you can do would be to throw the kind of party where your guests wake up today, and call you to say they had a nice time. Now you'll be be expected to throw another party next year. What you should do is throw the kind of party where your guest wake up several days from now and call their lawyers to find out if they've been indicted for anything. You want your guests to be so anxious to avoid a recurrence of your party that they immediately start planning parties of their own, a year in advance, just to prevent you from having another one ... If your party is successful, the police will knock on your door, unless your party is very successful in which case they will lob tear gas through your living room window. As host, your job is to make sure that they don't arrest anybody. Or if they're dead set on arresting someone, your job is to make sure it isn't you ... -- Dave Barry

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me. I'm afraid of widths. -- Steven Wright

I put instant coffee in a microwave and almost went back in time. -- Steven Wright

Rincewind formed a mental picture of some strange entity living in a castle made of teeth. It was the kind of mental picture you tried to forget. Unsuccessfully. -- Terry Pratchett, "The Light Fantastic"

A MODERN FABLE Aesop's fables and other traditional children's stories involve allegory far too subtle for the youth of today. Children need an updated message with contemporary circumstance and plot line, and short enough to suit today's minute attention span. The Troubled Aardvark Once upon a time, there was an aardvark whose only pleasure in life was driving from his suburban bungalow to his job at a large brokerage house in his brand new 4x4. He hated his manipulative boss, his conniving and unethical co-workers, his greedy wife, and his snivelling, spoiled children. One day, the aardvark reflected on the meaning of his life and his career and on the unchecked, catastrophic decline of his nation, its pathetic excuse for leadership, and the complete ineffectiveness of any personal effort he could make to change the status quo. Overcome by a wave of utter depression and self-doubt, he decided to take the only course of action that would bring him greater comfort and happiness:

Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter? -- Steven Wright

A Medicare Reform Model Everyone Can Love (Guest Opinion) http://bit.ly/CSh6D

Medicaid's Moment (Guest Opinion) http://bit.ly/CSh6D

It's Not Just The Money: Cost Control In Cancer Care (Guest Opinion) http://bit.ly/CSh6D

As The CLASS Act Comes Under Fire, The British Propose A New Model for National Long-Term Care Insurance (Guest Opinion) http://bit.ly/CSh6D

Washington's Rebate Tax Would Be Paid By Seniors (Guest Column) http://bit.ly/CSh6D

The Questionable Lure Of Free Long-Term Care Placement Services (Guest Opinion) http://bit.ly/CSh6D

Why IPAB Is Essential -- A Timely Review (Guest Opinion) http://bit.ly/CSh6D

Different Takes: What's Next For Medicare Cost Controls? Vladeck And Wilensky Offer Their Views http://bit.ly/CSh6D

An Unreasonable Expectation… http://bit.ly/CSh6D

Proposals To Forbid First-Dollar Coverage For Medicare Beneficiaries http://bit.ly/CSh6D

Viewpoints: The Promise And Perils Of Prostate Screening; Presidential Candidates Shy Away From Frank Discussion Of Spending http://bit.ly/Oi2rN

State Roundup: Labor Unions Continue Wis. Governor Recall Push http://bit.ly/Oi2rN

Mass. Safety-Net Hospitals Slated To Get $628M To Better Coordinate Care http://bit.ly/Oi2rN

Mass. Senate Approves 'End-Of-Life' Discussion Mandate; Kan. Tax Cuts Bill Signed http://bit.ly/Oi2rN